Flip Love
Couple of week back the vibration in my cell phone waked me up at 5:30am. I reached for the cell without opening my eyes.‘Hello, are you fine?’ It was my mom on the other end.
‘Yea, I’m doing great’ though it was really annoying getting call at 5 in these chilly winter dawn, I tempt myself hearing the comforting voice of mom after a long time.
‘Did you felt the tremor?’ She was sounding weird.
‘Yes I did’ I was annoyed with the pointless talk she was making by calling so early.’ I always put my cell on vibration mom; if you call me this early I’ll fell the tremor?’
‘No No’ she was making me more confused. ’Didn’t you felt the earthquake?
‘What???’ I almost jumped from the bed.
‘Ok, Ok its fine, now go back to sleep’ and then she hung up.
‘First the call and then the threat of the earthquake, How can I go back to sleep?’ So I just closed my eyes and started thinking about the swift call that lasted for a few second. Why she hung up on me so soon? After screwing for a moment with my head I drew the conclusion ‘Move straight from your head to your heart stupid, it’s because she was worried about you after the earthquake and she didn’t want to kill your sleep after knowing you are safe’. I thanked god for putting on the lap of the great mother on the earth and rolled around my bed waiting for the alarm to beep.
On the flip side I have a different story. During Tihar, it was London derby (Gunners vs. the Blues) and you can guess how the Blue’s fan like me was holding in the second half. The third one from Van Parsi (and Arsenal 5-3 Chelsea) ignites my frustration, I threw the remote controller and the gentleman’s talk (muji Chelsea aja ni haryo) just slipped from my tongue in front of the dad.
‘How dare you talk like that in my house?’ Firstly he was unsettled with me for not letting him watch the news and secondly the quarter life crisis son was talking like a gentleman. So it was time for some serious stuff.
‘What did I do now?’ I was not sure about the words coz they just slipped.
‘You watch TV for the whole day without studying and how dare you show your big mouth (‘एक त दिनभरी टि.भी हेर्छ, पढ्नु गुढ्नु छैन, अझ मुखमुखै लाग्छ’)’ he was furious at me.
‘What?? There is nothing to read, I finished my college dad, and tell me what I should do’.
‘Go and Study’ is his best dialogue and for me it’s the one I hate most. Even after finishing the college he didn’t stopped to hit me with it. Weird isn’t it; your dad scolding you for not studying even after graduating from the college.
‘Just do something good, don’t waste your time watching this stupid football’. I didn’t know why he was blaming football.
‘You know what; you are never satisfied whatever I do’ I was losing my mind.
‘If I became second, you say why didn’t you became first and if I became first you say why didn’t you became board first, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, you never fell happy with your son’s success’ I banged the door of the living room and left.
Later at the dinner it was dead silence. I had no words left to unzip my lips after that altercation. Mom was busy with her chores. So it was up to dad to break the ice.
‘There is a story for you my son, do you want to hear it’. (कान्छा एउटा कथा छ, तेरो लागि; सुन्छस्)
I didn’t dare to look at his face nor did I care to utter a word. I went to feed myself and remained silent.
‘Ok, anyway let me say it’ and he started. The story went like this.
Once there was a famous writer who has earned name and fame. But the writer’s father always used to scold him for not writing a single good piece. Though the world praises him as the best writer, his father used to tell him he was bullshit. The writer was angry with his father attitude toward him, he thought his father was mad. He started planning a ploy to destroy him. One day when the father was in his room the writer waited outside with the sword in his hand. While waiting he heard his mother talking with the father.
‘Why don’t you praise your son for his good work?’ the mother was asking, ’you make him sad by undermining his work’.
‘Haha’ the father laughed. ’You know my darling, if all started praising our son he will run after the success and one day he won’t be able to write good. I always scold his so that he will always strive for the excellence’.
Hearing the answer the writer felt so guilty that he killed himself with the sword as a penance. And the world lost one of the best writers in the history.
Dad finished his story. ‘Did you like the story?’ he didn’t stopped to hear my reply. He left the diner and reached for the sink. Though my head was still bowing to pay respect to the food mom has made with quite excitement, I raised my eyebrows to get the glimpse of his silhouette. He opened the tap, rinsed, and dried himself with the towel. He was smiling at me when he left the kitchen. I was as dumb as the statue at the kitchen table wondering myself why these human in the form of father are so knotty. Why do you have to decipher the hidden love and care from their words? But it’s quite difficult because there is no universal algorithm to do it. And you are left without the clue wondering do they really care about you? Why can’t they call you straight and ask ‘Hello, Are you fine?’ or was it because the silent would connect in a way a word would never could.
Thus to conclude I say the love of the two greatest human being on the earth is a flip love. One express even though you don’t want other won’t even though you want.
