Baje Electric Shop was small, congested yet very busy electric shop on the corner of our neighborhood. The concrete yard was extending to the road and it was few feet above the road surface. The small Flexed hoarding board was placed in front of the shop notifying the presence of the Shop. A pair of cemented staircase linked the yard with the road. The sun had just disappeared from the neighborhood and the cold and the stinking breeze of Bagmati was about to rule the southern part of Kathmandu.
The beautiful damsel image by the side of police post caught my attention. It was familiar or something I have seen in previous life. I was confused with myself, I rubbed my eyes. The setting sun was making it really hard to recognize the figure from a distant. ‘God, this is unbelievable!!’ , I widen by eyes. ‘No matter how much you stretch your eyebrows, the image ain’t gonna change you fool’. I was getting unsettled more and more as the image get closer. ‘Oh no, same tenderness, same walk, same attitude; she can’t be her, no way’ I was betting myself.
‘Shit, shit, shit’ I started thumping my feet on the floor and my head was spinning.
‘What the hell is she doing here?’ Nothing was making a sense to me. She
was nearing the electric shop. I was really shrinking so I turned away from the road and act like I was reading the hoarding board. Earth stopped rotating, shopkeeper was paused holding Tube light in his hand, my mate was grinning at me without blinking, and the woman in front of the Grocery was holding lighted match stick in her hand, and everything stopped, bike, scooter, kids paying on the street, everything stopped. The whole world muted then slowly the thud of her feet stroked my ears. I felt her climbing the stair case of the porch; she walked past me, whispered something to the shopkeeper, and walked away from the shop.
‘Tak, Tak, Tak’, the sound of her feet started to fade away. Then it stopped. Finally the paused session of the earth ended. Shopkeeper was counting money, my mate was carrying Tube Light in his hand and the woman in front of the Grocery was warming herself in the fire. It was like a Déjà vu. Really nothing was making a sense to me.
Akash frowned at me and stretched his head as if he was trying to say something to me.
‘What?’ I was freaked out waking from the Déjà vu.
‘Look back’, he pointed to the road with the help of Tube light he was carrying. I slowly turned back.
There she was, staring at me, with one foot on the street and the other in the cemented stair.
She was all the same, mysteriously confusing, stunningly beautiful. Same beautiful big eyes that anyone can forever get lost in, same smile that get engraved in one’s mind from the second one lay eye on, same long black hair that warms one’s heart and tickles one’s soul. I couldn’t get my eyes off her.
She smiled at me. The black nevus (mole) in her upper lips was so mesmerizing that her smile couldn’t distract me. And all the worries and nervousness past away. It was a heavenly feeling.
She took a stroll towards me; I lowered my head as she was saying something. She whispered few words in my ears, and stepped back. I started smiling and moving my head left right. When I lifted my head up, she was walking away. The cold chill went through my body, my heart felt heavy and again I started worrying. ‘I can’t let you walk away this time’
I gathered the courage and called her name aloud ‘Nisha.’. She didn’t listen or she didn’t cared I didn’t know. But this time I was in no mood to give up. ‘Nisha’ I yelled. She stopped. I felt awkward shouting so helplessly. I looked around, the woman by the fire was looking at me, and Akash was making his face like a shit. ‘Hell, it was too loud’. I told him and ran towards her.
I jumped from the porch without taking stair, shortcut to get to her. But the bike came in full speed blaring horn so I have to retreat for few seconds. I crossed the road and was in front of her in no time.
‘Sorry for that’, I was confused how to start. So I just gave a smile.
‘It was ok’ and she waited there for me to say something. I looked straight in her eyes and we got ourselves locked in. After few second, she took her eyes away from me.
I turned to Akash. He was folding his both hands as if he was praying and was lipsing ‘Say something you fool’.
I pulled her hand and placed it in mine. She got nervous, I could see that. How much you pretend to be strong you can’t be? You can’t be at least in front of a guy. I showed the palm to her. ‘Nisha, Do you know why god made gaps between these fingers?’
She was silent and was looking straight in my eyes. She didn’t move an inch.
‘So that someday the one made for you come and fill those gaps’. I looked down to
her fingers, caress them and again look at her eye. ‘Will you fill the gap for me?’
She pulled her hand, didn’t say a word and walked away. I stood there watching her.
It was my second time watching her walk away in last few minutes. I couldn’t help myself
My concentration was shaken by the pat on my shoulder. It was him.
‘What did she say?’ he was excited to know.
‘Nothing’
‘What did you say?’ he frowned at me.
‘Nothing’, I replied.
‘I know you did say something and she …’ I looked at him furiously so he stopped. We walked few yard away from the electric shop. There was a moment of silence and I loved it. He looked at me and said ‘I know you did say something’.
‘How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t say anything and she didn’t say anything either’ I was irritated by his concern. He just shrugged and whispered ‘Whatever?’
‘Anyway thanks for the tips’ I showed my gratitude to him for triggering the idea of fingers and gaps.
‘What tips?’ he didn’t care to look at me.
‘It’s nothing’
‘Woo paheli baar jab hum mile, haato me haat jab hum chale,
ho gaya yea dil diwana, hota hey pyar kya kisne jana’
I heard the song.
‘Why are you singing?’
‘Why would I sing a song?’ My mate was irritated by my reckless comments.
Then the loud thud stroked in my ears. I jumped and then I found myself lying in my bed, swimming in a deep sea of blankets.
‘tere aakho me jaanat basake chala, teri julfo ki chawo me chalta chala
Tere naino me chain tere lab pe khusi, tujko hi mei mohabaat bana ke chala’
The song continued and it didn’t took me more than a few seconds to figure out the singer was my neighbor The Rolpa Boy but not Mr. Shaan.
As the background chorus grew louder and louder the next door flashback started playing around my eyes. I started dreaming eyes wide open. I remembered her climbing down the dimly lighted staircase with her friends after the evening study hours. She was wearing the same orange skirts that swept my mind when I first saw her. I was waiting her in the Chautara behind the Gymnasium hall along with my classmates. The noise and the crowd of students running toward the hostel weren’t distracting me a bit. She looked more stunning on dim light. ‘God, she’s so beautiful’. I was looking
her without blinking. The more she descends down the more I got unsettled. The heart started pounding as if it was trying to jump away from me. In no time she walked past me. Akash punched me on my stomach. ‘Ouch, what was that for?’ I screamed.
‘Call her, you damn fool’. He gave another slap on my head.
‘I can’t do this’. I jumped from Chautara and tried to run toward the hostel. He grabbed my T-shirt and we started playing Tug of war. I gave up and he won.
‘You Twaa, if you walk a step I’ll kill you’. He threatened me and walked few steps towards the trail.
‘Oh please don’t do this’, I joined my both hand with my finger locked in as if I was praying to god. He didn’t give a damn. ‘Nisha’ He spoke out her name. It was too noisy with the all those growling of kids and hooting of senior guys. She didn’t hear or didn’t care we didn’t know. He was in no mood to give up.
‘Nisha’ He shouted her name. We don’t know how many of them
listen, anyway what does it matter at least she heard him. She stopped and whispers something in the ear of her friend and then she turned back. Other girl left but her bodyguard, Chasmis gave her a company.
‘shit, shit, shit’, I started thumping my feet on the ground. ‘Why did you call her? I told I can’t talk to her’ I was about to piss on my pants.
‘Don’t make a scene here?’ he grabbed my hands and dragged me to her. She was standing on the middle of the trail. I couldn’t talk to her in the middle of the crowd. So I called her towards me. Chasmis grab her hand and came to our side of the trail.
I was dumb seeing her so close. Nothing came out of my mouth. Akash hit me on my feet; it was so hard I couldn’t hide my pain so I grunted ‘ohhhhhh’. Chasmis turned other side to hide her smile. And Nisha was waiting for me to say something.
‘I hope you know me’, I mumbled. But she refused to understand me so I have to repeat myself.
‘I mean do you know who I am’, I knew that was the stupidest thing to start with but I was hopeless.
She just nodded in a reply. That made me muted. I was expecting movement of lips but she just moved her head. There was a moment of silence. Akash knew I was making a scene, so he tried to rescue me. ‘Are you here to remain silent or to say something’? I thanked him from inside for breaking the ice.
‘You know I want somebody to talk when I came back, I mean someone like a friend’. I couldn’t think of anything so I just completed my words as ‘I want to be your friend, what you think about it’, I couldn’t go further than that.
Chasmis slowly moved her hand toward Nisha’s arm and gave a pinch.
’Ok’ I heard first word from her mouth. She smiled; the nevus on her upper lips was so beautiful it made me crazy. ‘God you’re so beautiful’ I wished to tell her. But my gut was in hell so I couldn’t speak more than that.
‘We better go, else we will get screwed by a hostel warden’ Chasmis interrupted. Then they walked away. We watched them until they disappeared from the blue gate in front of the telephone booth.
‘You fool, you piece of shit’ Akash started banging his feet on my ass. The other guy waiting on the Chautara came and circled me.
‘What did she say?’
‘Nothing’
‘What did you say?’
‘Nothing’ I replied.
‘Don’t try to be over smart, we saw you talk to her, tell us what did you say?’ they started on me.
‘He is oversmart!!, oversmart my ass’ Akash was furious at me being so dumb. ‘He is so dumb, he didn’t say anything’. He slapped me again in my head. ’You, Twaa’.
We all ran towards the hostel.
‘Woo paheli baar jab hum mile, haato pe haat jab hum chale’ I started singing with my Boy next door the Rolpa Boy. I threw the blanket away, stood up, put toothpaste on the brush and headed for the bathroom. The golden rays of sun made eye irritate as I enter the bathroom.
