The Mind War

The Mind War

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(Dedicated to all Mr. Too Much Thinkers out there)

Mr. Right inside me said ‘think about it man, think hard about it’ and the Mr. Who Cares inside me said ‘What the hell? Go and get it, now is the time so hit the nail in the head’. These two me (Mr. Right and Mr. who cares) are really hard to deal with. They never try to settle. When one says something the other always says ‘Fuck you’. And they are mutually exclusive like the light and the dark. That’s what I call ‘The Mind War’.

‘If not now then when?’ Mr. Who Cares asked.

‘I don’t know, but I think it’s wrong, what about the family, what about the society. No, I can’t do it’ Mr. Right replied.

‘Hell with family, hell with society, it’s about you man not about some freaking society’ Mr. who cares tried to convince.

‘Hell yes, you’re damn right man, hell with family, hell with society….. I’m gonna do it’ Mr. Right acted like he is convinced. But after the little pause. ‘No, no, no..…what if something went wrong?’ Mr. Right bounced back.

‘Fuck you man’ Mr. Who Cares got angry. And Mr. Right starts to think again.

The above conversations are the part of the play that is hitting my brain’s theater ever since I started to think for myself. And I call the play ‘The Mind War’. And my Mind War is doing great business in my brain then DDLJ did in Bollywood.

What is more interesting about it is that Mr. Too Much Thinker like me has screened The Mind War in their theater in many circumstances. It might be while bunking classes for the first time or handling first glass of alcohol or first stick of cigarette in the hand or dancing for the first time in a disco or proposing a girl for a date. But Mr. Too Much Thinkers are born to think but not to do. Sooner you realize the happier you will be.

‘It’s all set man, why don’t you give a shot’ said my friend making his face like a shit. I felt terrible seeing that face and more than that I felt pity with my own guts.

‘Don’t tell me these as if I don’t know anything, I’m not a child anymore’ I replied him.

‘If you are not child then act like a man, at least be a man once in your life’ he hit right in the nail’s head.

That was enough to mute me. And again the screen of my brain started its favorite show The Mind War.

And I stocked in the infinite loop of question answer between Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares infestation of myself.

The above conversation took place between me and my friend, when I was thinking about doing a thing that Mr. Too Much Thinkers thinks about. Any guess what the outcome was? Its simple my Mind War never ended and I didn’t do it. I heard ‘war are easy to start, hard to fight and impossible to stop’ and I think it’s just damn right. The hardest part is to fight and that’s what I’m doing now and it is not even thinking about stopping.

I would like to share the conversation between me and another Mr. Too Much Thinker of my circles that took few weeks ago. I was busy with my work when he entered my room; I just fulfilled the formality to welcome him and went with my stuff. He moved around the room twice as if he was trying to tell something.

‘It’s killing me man’, he spited it out of his mouth.

‘What is killing you?’ I knew what he was talking about but I acted as if I don’t know anything.

‘You know…’ He felt shy to express it. I lifted my head and scanned his face; it was really a melancholy face so I made it simple for him.

‘I think something is burning, see the smoke’ I pointed at him. He was confused.

‘Gottcha Romeo, haha, so it’s the love in the air’ I was excited to hear how he feels about his girl. ‘So, how’s it going, mmh mmh’ I asked him.

‘It’s killing me man, I can’t even read, I know I’m gonna screw this exam’.

‘Haha, the same classical love story, no sleep, no appetite, no thirst…. Good going man’ I was enjoying all of it. ‘Why don’t you tell her?’ I asked.

‘It’s not that simple, what if ………………..’

He went through dozens of what if and I sat there just listening all those what if clauses. No word came out of mouth because he was also another Mr. Too much thinker like me and it’s not strange his mind was screening ‘The Mind War’ staring Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares.

Last month in a wedding party I ran into another Mr. Too Much Thinker. He is a guy from my workplace and we were attending a weeding of a Newar friend. Born in a typical Brahmin family he is a hell of a thinker. We sat for the dinner and they started serving Baji set on our Tapari(plate made of leaf), one by one they started serving dished, and 90% of them were Buff items and don’t forget that there was no liquor except Yela and Chayang. Guess what, my Brahmin Mr. thinker had to eat only beaten rice in the wedding party when everyone were enjoying Yela and Chayang with Choyala and Sekuwa. I went to him and said ‘Come on man eat something’. He nodded and watched me from above his spectacle. ‘How can I? It’s all buff items’ he was freaked out. ‘So what? Everyone is eating, don’t think too much man, just eat’ he looked me with dissatisfaction. I know what his mind was going through at that time. His brain was screening ‘The Mind War’ and Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares inside him going through all those what if clauses. I can imagine him cooking in his kitchen after midnight. That was just another infestation of Mr. Too Much Thinker.

And to conclude, I have a say “The mind war is injurious to health and life, stay away from it”.

Living Your Dream

Living Your Dream

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I had heard too much about Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist so I bought it and finished it in one stands. That was few years back when I started exploring foreign literature. My love for foreign literature was marked by the overwhelming love for Tolstoy’s War and Peace and Gorki’s Mother. Thanks to my family background for inspiring me in Russian Literature. As I went through the Alchemist, frankly saying it didn’t swept me like Tolstoy and Gorki but one thing I certainly learnt i.e. Living Your Dream. Ever since then I’m trying to know what my dream is. And the answer; I was still searching until today. But the status shared by friend gave me my answer. It was about Bryan Adams taking million dollars from Nepal and the charity concert for the fund raising of Kumar Kancha collecting just 34 thousands rupees. And the answer I got was ‘My dream is to be me’.

I came to watch a youtube video posted by my brother. It was the interview of Nepali Fashion Designer Mr. Prabal Gurung in CNN. He told ‘Competition you feel it … in term you are not living in a vacuum so I’m trying to compete to myself to bring very best out of me’ when asked about how he feels about the competition. And he helped me to conclude to my answer. Also today I came to read this blog in Nagariknews.com and the part of it inspired me a lot. I think it taught me why I should be me? So I would like to quote that part here:

‘तिमीलाई मेरो अनुरोध छ– कृपया एकैछिन उभिएर आफैंभित्र हेर। यो पद, यो पैसा, यो जागिर, यो भिसा, यो हतार। त्यसपछि अर्को पद, अरू पैसा, अर्को जागिर, अर्को भिसा, उही हतार। पद, पैसा, प्रतिष्ठा र व्यस्तताले तिमीलाई कति खालि बनाएको छ? एकैछिन रोकिएर आफ्नै सास हेर– त्यसमा कुनै हार्दिकता, कुनै शान्ति वा कुनै विश्राम छ?गाउँबाट आयौ, काठमान्डुमा घर बनायौ। अब अमेरिका जाँदैछौ। त्यसपछि? के चन्द्रमा जान टिकट खुलिसकेको छ? म आफू बाँचेको प्रकृतिमा प्रेम महसुस गर्छु। काठमान्डुका सडकलाई प्रेम गर्छु। कृपया खाल्टैखाल्टा सडकमा बिस्तारै मोटर कुदाऊ।रत्नपार्कका भत्किएका बारहरू। भृकुटीमण्डपछेउ थुपारिएको फोहोर। वायुसेवा निगम कार्यालयअघि पिच्चपिच्च थुकका टाटाहरू। सभागृहमा चुँडिएका फूल।सुन्धाराबाट त्रिपुरेश्वर जाने सडकको देब्रे पेटीमा सैनिक क्लबछेवैको प्रतीक्षालयमा लडिरहेको युवक। गौशालामा खुट्टाभरि घाउ भएका र पुरानो मैलो सर्ट लगाएका घसि्रँदै गरेका वृद्ध। न्युरोडमा मैलो अनुहार र त्योभन्दा धेरै मैलो हाफप्यान्ट लगाएर मागिरहेको बालक। काठमान्डुमा प्रेमातुर पात्र र ठाउँहरूको कुनै कमी छ? काठमान्डुमा प्रेमका लागि कुनै स्पेस अभाव छ?काठमान्डुको गरिबी, दुःख, फोहोरमैला सबै हाम्रै अप्रेमको कारण होइन?’

After all these years being the active member of social networking, time and often I used to regret being addicted to it. But today I really loved it. Because a reply in the link about Kumar Kancha that I shared really helped me to draw my conclusion. It was from my friend Kshitz Pandey.He quoted ‘The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to accept. They'd rather sit in front of the TV and let that tell them what they're supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and what they're supposed to laugh at.’ and that was enough for me to differentiate me from Santiago in The Alchemist. Why should I travel all the way from Spain crossing the deadly Sahara Desert to Egypt to live my dreams? Unlike Santiago I can be just me, I need no Alchemy. And when all these thought were skimming in my minds I remember my teacher from school who used to tell us ‘at least learn a thing every day and you will be a successful man’ and today I learnt a thing ‘Living My Dream’ and in return I don’t need to be successful man but I just want to be me.

In The Evening

In The Evening

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The traffic in the streets of Kathmandu goes into hibernation on Saturday, and it feels really great to be around. After a long time, yesterday we got a chance to move our feet on the Jam free streets of the capital. It really feels out of the world watching empty road in the town. The cold breeze was blowing the whole evening. The freshness of the rain that washed all the filth of Kathmandu the previous evening was spreading with the breeze. What seemed out of track in this busy city yesterday was that nobody was in rush. So many beautiful head with no mark of rush in their face, that was amazing. ‘Yea, it’s the real weekend’. I thought myself.

When the whole town was gathering in Tripureswor for Bryan Adams, we made our way to New Road. Two reasons for that, first we didn’t have the tickets and second we didn’t have that much to buy one. So we planned our evening away from those electric acoustics. We did little shopping and went for Sekuwa in Basantapur but our bad luck, we didn’t find the Sekuwa vendors in the street. I thought they were also having weekend. We walked through the narrow gulley of Asan Bazzar. It was real fun to watch people doing their business in hardly few square foot shops. I mean the whole shop was in a cart or bicycle and in many cases it was the back pack. And a big smile came in my face seeing the Wall Mart of third world. I remembered my teacher telling us about the Supply chain management of Wall Mart and the excellent managerial skill of Mr. Sam Walton (the founder of wall mart). And after visiting Asan Bazzar I concluded that we don’t need Wall Mart in Kathmandu until we have Asan and every business man in Asan is Sam Walton.

We left Third World’s Wall Mart and headed to SunDhara to get a bus back. The street around Sahid Gate and the Road that descend to Tripureswor were surrounded by Policeman with Gun.

‘What’s going on in here? Is the president going somewhere?’ The guy waiting for the bus asked.

‘No, you dumb ass it’s for Bryan Adams’ the other one replied.

‘Who is Bryan Adams?’ the first one was confused.

‘Summer of 69, here I’m ‘. The other replied.

And the real confusion aroused in the face of first guy. He scratched his head and again asked.

’Is he the new American Ambassador?’

We were getting with the conversation and the Bus came so we started chasing it. The scene inside the Bus was even funnier than the Bryan Adams conversation in the Street.

There were just two empty seats at the last row. So my friends get their butt adjusted. And I was in great dilemma where to adjust mine. I looked around. And the young couple by the window was behaving as if they were in honeymoon. The Conductor came inside and shouted.

‘2 people in place of 1, 3 in place of 2, 4 in place of 3 and 5 in place of 4’ He turned his head and murmured ‘This is not taxi so adjust’. He went to the door and got on with his business.

‘Oh Baneswor, Koteswor, Kadaghari…….Baneswor, Koteswor……’

The thought whether to adjust my butt with the couple or not went three times through my mind and finally I decide to adjust. I was half in and half out of the seat. It was 2.5 in place of 2 not 3 in place of 2. Slowly the crowd started filling and the real adjustment started. I was squeezed between the couple in the left and the big damsel butt in late forties standing in the right. Thanks god I saved my nose from squeezing otherwise…….

And when I got off in Buddhanagar, I felt relieved and the cold breeze filled my lung. It was so nice to feel the freshness in the air again after suffocating for 20 min. The neighbor dog barked at me so furiously that I dropped my key. But today it didn’t make me angry. I was happy. Don’t know why. The evening away from Bryan Adams was not bad except we missed Sekuwa of Basantapur.

यो सम्झिने मन छ!!!

यो सम्झिने मन छ!!!

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My classic Sony Ericsson 300i played irritating Greeting ringtone to wake me up at 6 am. I pulled my hands below the pillow to search for my vibrating cell phone. The ring tone was getting louder every single time it buzzes. So I grabbed and mute it. Between my half opened, wax filled and stretched eyebrow I saw the screen of my 300i displaying 2/14/11, Monday. The load shedding schedule published by NEA was indicating that my neighborhood will get the electricity till 8am so I grabbed my laptop and started social networking. My god, so many love quotes and message. It’s not even daybreak and guys started polluting my wall with all those so called loving shit. So here comes Mr. R’mes with another update in his wall ‘so many luv quotes and messages.. where did u find all these guys... must have been good google surfer......’ . I went through the notification and I found out that Mr. R’mes was tagged in photo of a friend from the school. I hurried and open the photo. To my surprise it was the golden memories of my school days. I was suited in Daura, Surwal, waistcoat, pattuki, a nice looking Dhaka topi in the head and a scarf in the neck. God damn it! It was me then. I went through the face of my dancing partner, and big smile appeared in my visage. ‘See you fool; did u really danced with her?’ I was questioning myself. Wahh I got the photo of my first dance, first stage show, first Nepali dress and more than that my first crush. I right clicked and clicked save image as. Then opened media player and played 'माया गोदाबरी फुल फुल्यो'।

I was nostalgic. The teenager inside me started dancing again. The vivid image of my later part of school days started to ring around my brain. I remembered how much nuts were we back then. And today during my last days of college I wanted to be nuts but I can’t. I haven’t had so much courage to be me. ‘Thank you god for making me myself back in those days’ I prayed to god. I remembered the same day back then. I stayed late night the day before writing letters to my valentine. Writing, writing, writing and finally tearing it. And again writing, writing, writing and finally tearing it. Didn’t know what went wrong but I couldn’t save a single page to give it do her the next day. My class work copy was in a dustbin by the morning. The day started like a just another day.

I got two things to get worried about first one was how to ask a money to dad for the classwork copy and the other was how can I express my feeling to her. I postponed the first one for the next day with 20 times up and down in front of the class. And second one haunted me the whole day. She walked past me many times the whole day and I was there looking at her and swallowing my saliva with a heavy breath. There was nothing I could do except look at her. I came home with a heavy heart. That day I tuned Radio Nepal whole evening and listen every song of Narayan Gopal that were broadcast through the radio. That was the first time I wished that the day Feb 15 never comes. But why it wouldn’t. Indeed the day come with the sun rising above the Sarangkot and I paid the heavy price for the first love letter that I never send. Harsh comment of mom, grumpy look of dad, two slap of an elder brother and an empty belly for the whole day.

Waking from the flashback, I changed the playlist of window media player. ‘Maya godabari phool fulyo’ was replaced by A Fine Franzy and Alan Jackson’s. I opened Microsoft Word and the next post appeared in Youth Mind archives after an hour and half. The valentine day evening after 8 years is not quite different except A Fine Franzy’s Almost Lover in place of Narayan Gopal’s Yo samjine maan cha,(यो सम्झीने मन छ, म बिर्सु कसोरी) Microsoft word in place of a Class work copy, facebook wall in place of newspaper posted wall of my room back home.

Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise

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Baje Electric Shop was small, congested yet very busy electric shop on the corner of our neighborhood. The concrete yard was extending to the road and it was few feet above the road surface. The small Flexed hoarding board was placed in front of the shop notifying the presence of the Shop. A pair of cemented staircase linked the yard with the road. The sun had just disappeared from the neighborhood and the cold and the stinking breeze of Bagmati was about to rule the southern part of Kathmandu.

The woman from the Grocery Shop next to Baje’s Electric shop was trying to

light the fire in front porch. I was standing in front of the electric shop and was waiting for my friend to finish his shopping. Few guys from high school arrived from the corner of the street. We had a little chat and then they made their way to the Cyber Café opposite to the shop. I started hunting with my eyes. My main targets were the one in the Scooter. At least it was something to make myself busy when my mate was bargaining with the shopkeeper.

The beautiful damsel image by the side of police post caught my attention. It was familiar or something I have seen in previous life. I was confused with myself, I rubbed my eyes. The setting sun was making it really hard to recognize the figure from a distant. ‘God, this is unbelievable!!’ , I widen by eyes. ‘No matter how much you stretch your eyebrows, the image ain’t gonna change you fool’. I was getting unsettled more and more as the image get closer. ‘Oh no, same tenderness, same walk, same attitude; she can’t be her, no way’ I was betting myself.

‘Shit, shit, shit’ I started thumping my feet on the floor and my head was spinning.

‘What the hell is she doing here?’ Nothing was making a sense to me. She

was nearing the electric shop. I was really shrinking so I turned away from the road and act like I was reading the hoarding board. Earth stopped rotating, shopkeeper was paused holding Tube light in his hand, my mate was grinning at me without blinking, and the woman in front of the Grocery was holding lighted match stick in her hand, and everything stopped, bike, scooter, kids paying on the street, everything stopped. The whole world muted then slowly the thud of her feet stroked my ears. I felt her climbing the stair case of the porch; she walked past me, whispered something to the shopkeeper, and walked away from the shop.

‘Tak, Tak, Tak’, the sound of her feet started to fade away. Then it stopped. Finally the paused session of the earth ended. Shopkeeper was counting money, my mate was carrying Tube Light in his hand and the woman in front of the Grocery was warming herself in the fire. It was like a Déjà vu. Really nothing was making a sense to me.

Akash frowned at me and stretched his head as if he was trying to say something to me.

‘What?’ I was freaked out waking from the Déjà vu.

‘Look back’, he pointed to the road with the help of Tube light he was carrying. I slowly turned back.

There she was, staring at me, with one foot on the street and the other in the cemented stair.

She was all the same, mysteriously confusing, stunningly beautiful. Same beautiful big eyes that anyone can forever get lost in, same smile that get engraved in one’s mind from the second one lay eye on, same long black hair that warms one’s heart and tickles one’s soul. I couldn’t get my eyes off her.

She smiled at me. The black nevus (mole) in her upper lips was so mesmerizing that her smile couldn’t distract me. And all the worries and nervousness past away. It was a heavenly feeling.

She took a stroll towards me; I lowered my head as she was saying something. She whispered few words in my ears, and stepped back. I started smiling and moving my head left right. When I lifted my head up, she was walking away. The cold chill went through my body, my heart felt heavy and again I started worrying. ‘I can’t let you walk away this time’

I gathered the courage and called her name aloud ‘Nisha.’. She didn’t listen or she didn’t cared I didn’t know. But this time I was in no mood to give up. ‘Nisha’ I yelled. She stopped. I felt awkward shouting so helplessly. I looked around, the woman by the fire was looking at me, and Akash was making his face like a shit. ‘Hell, it was too loud’. I told him and ran towards her.

I jumped from the porch without taking stair, shortcut to get to her. But the bike came in full speed blaring horn so I have to retreat for few seconds. I crossed the road and was in front of her in no time.

‘Sorry for that’, I was confused how to start. So I just gave a smile.

‘It was ok’ and she waited there for me to say something. I looked straight in her eyes and we got ourselves locked in. After few second, she took her eyes away from me.

I turned to Akash. He was folding his both hands as if he was praying and was lipsing ‘Say something you fool’.

I pulled her hand and placed it in mine. She got nervous, I could see that. How much you pretend to be strong you can’t be? You can’t be at least in front of a guy. I showed the palm to her. ‘Nisha, Do you know why god made gaps between these fingers?’

She was silent and was looking straight in my eyes. She didn’t move an inch.

‘So that someday the one made for you come and fill those gaps’. I looked down to

her fingers, caress them and again look at her eye. ‘Will you fill the gap for me?’

She pulled her hand, didn’t say a word and walked away. I stood there watching her.

It was my second time watching her walk away in last few minutes. I couldn’t help myself

My concentration was shaken by the pat on my shoulder. It was him.

‘What did she say?’ he was excited to know.

‘Nothing’

‘What did you say?’ he frowned at me.

‘Nothing’, I replied.

‘I know you did say something and she …’ I looked at him furiously so he stopped. We walked few yard away from the electric shop. There was a moment of silence and I loved it. He looked at me and said ‘I know you did say something’.

‘How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t say anything and she didn’t say anything either’ I was irritated by his concern. He just shrugged and whispered ‘Whatever?’

‘Anyway thanks for the tips’ I showed my gratitude to him for triggering the idea of fingers and gaps.

‘What tips?’ he didn’t care to look at me.

‘It’s nothing’

‘Woo paheli baar jab hum mile, haato me haat jab hum chale,

ho gaya yea dil diwana, hota hey pyar kya kisne jana’

I heard the song.

‘Why are you singing?’

‘Why would I sing a song?’ My mate was irritated by my reckless comments.

Then the loud thud stroked in my ears. I jumped and then I found myself lying in my bed, swimming in a deep sea of blankets.

‘tere aakho me jaanat basake chala, teri julfo ki chawo me chalta chala

Tere naino me chain tere lab pe khusi, tujko hi mei mohabaat bana ke chala’

The song continued and it didn’t took me more than a few seconds to figure out the singer was my neighbor The Rolpa Boy but not Mr. Shaan.

As the background chorus grew louder and louder the next door flashback started playing around my eyes. I started dreaming eyes wide open. I remembered her climbing down the dimly lighted staircase with her friends after the evening study hours. She was wearing the same orange skirts that swept my mind when I first saw her. I was waiting her in the Chautara behind the Gymnasium hall along with my classmates. The noise and the crowd of students running toward the hostel weren’t distracting me a bit. She looked more stunning on dim light. ‘God, she’s so beautiful’. I was looking

her without blinking. The more she descends down the more I got unsettled. The heart started pounding as if it was trying to jump away from me. In no time she walked past me. Akash punched me on my stomach. ‘Ouch, what was that for?’ I screamed.

‘Call her, you damn fool’. He gave another slap on my head.

‘I can’t do this’. I jumped from Chautara and tried to run toward the hostel. He grabbed my T-shirt and we started playing Tug of war. I gave up and he won.

‘You Twaa, if you walk a step I’ll kill you’. He threatened me and walked few steps towards the trail.

‘Oh please don’t do this’, I joined my both hand with my finger locked in as if I was praying to god. He didn’t give a damn. ‘Nisha’ He spoke out her name. It was too noisy with the all those growling of kids and hooting of senior guys. She didn’t hear or didn’t care we didn’t know. He was in no mood to give up.

‘Nisha’ He shouted her name. We don’t know how many of them

listen, anyway what does it matter at least she heard him. She stopped and whispers something in the ear of her friend and then she turned back. Other girl left but her bodyguard, Chasmis gave her a company.

‘shit, shit, shit’, I started thumping my feet on the ground. ‘Why did you call her? I told I can’t talk to her’ I was about to piss on my pants.

‘Don’t make a scene here?’ he grabbed my hands and dragged me to her. She was standing on the middle of the trail. I couldn’t talk to her in the middle of the crowd. So I called her towards me. Chasmis grab her hand and came to our side of the trail.

I was dumb seeing her so close. Nothing came out of my mouth. Akash hit me on my feet; it was so hard I couldn’t hide my pain so I grunted ‘ohhhhhh’. Chasmis turned other side to hide her smile. And Nisha was waiting for me to say something.

‘I hope you know me’, I mumbled. But she refused to understand me so I have to repeat myself.

‘I mean do you know who I am’, I knew that was the stupidest thing to start with but I was hopeless.

She just nodded in a reply. That made me muted. I was expecting movement of lips but she just moved her head. There was a moment of silence. Akash knew I was making a scene, so he tried to rescue me. ‘Are you here to remain silent or to say something’? I thanked him from inside for breaking the ice.

‘You know I want somebody to talk when I came back, I mean someone like a friend’. I couldn’t think of anything so I just completed my words as ‘I want to be your friend, what you think about it’, I couldn’t go further than that.

Chasmis slowly moved her hand toward Nisha’s arm and gave a pinch.

’Ok’ I heard first word from her mouth. She smiled; the nevus on her upper lips was so beautiful it made me crazy. ‘God you’re so beautiful’ I wished to tell her. But my gut was in hell so I couldn’t speak more than that.

‘We better go, else we will get screwed by a hostel warden’ Chasmis interrupted. Then they walked away. We watched them until they disappeared from the blue gate in front of the telephone booth.

‘You fool, you piece of shit’ Akash started banging his feet on my ass. The other guy waiting on the Chautara came and circled me.

‘What did she say?’

‘Nothing’

‘What did you say?’

‘Nothing’ I replied.

‘Don’t try to be over smart, we saw you talk to her, tell us what did you say?’ they started on me.

‘He is oversmart!!, oversmart my ass’ Akash was furious at me being so dumb. ‘He is so dumb, he didn’t say anything’. He slapped me again in my head. ’You, Twaa’.

We all ran towards the hostel.

‘Woo paheli baar jab hum mile, haato pe haat jab hum chale’ I started singing with my Boy next door the Rolpa Boy. I threw the blanket away, stood up, put toothpaste on the brush and headed for the bathroom. The golden rays of sun made eye irritate as I enter the bathroom.