The Mind War
(Dedicated to all Mr. Too Much Thinkers out there)
Mr. Right inside me said ‘think about it man, think hard about it’ and the Mr. Who Cares inside me said ‘What the hell? Go and get it, now is the time so hit the nail in the head’. These two me (Mr. Right and Mr. who cares) are really hard to deal with. They never try to settle. When one says something the other always says ‘Fuck you’. And they are mutually exclusive like the light and the dark. That’s what I call ‘The Mind War’.
‘If not now then when?’ Mr. Who Cares asked.
‘I don’t know, but I think it’s wrong, what about the family, what about the society. No, I can’t do it’ Mr. Right replied.
‘Hell with family, hell with society, it’s about you man not about some freaking society’ Mr. who cares tried to convince.
‘Hell yes, you’re damn right man, hell with family, hell with society….. I’m gonna do it’ Mr. Right acted like he is convinced. But after the little pause. ‘No, no, no..…what if something went wrong?’ Mr. Right bounced back.
‘Fuck you man’ Mr. Who Cares got angry. And Mr. Right starts to think again.
The above conversations are the part of the play that is hitting my brain’s theater ever since I started to think for myself. And I call the play ‘The Mind War’. And my Mind War is doing great business in my brain then DDLJ did in Bollywood.
What is more interesting about it is that Mr. Too Much Thinker like me has screened The Mind War in their theater in many circumstances. It might be while bunking classes for the first time or handling first glass of alcohol or first stick of cigarette in the hand or dancing for the first time in a disco or proposing a girl for a date. But Mr. Too Much Thinkers are born to think but not to do. Sooner you realize the happier you will be.
‘It’s all set man, why don’t you give a shot’ said my friend making his face like a shit. I felt terrible seeing that face and more than that I felt pity with my own guts.
‘Don’t tell me these as if I don’t know anything, I’m not a child anymore’ I replied him.
‘If you are not child then act like a man, at least be a man once in your life’ he hit right in the nail’s head.
That was enough to mute me. And again the screen of my brain started its favorite show The Mind War.
And I stocked in the infinite loop of question answer between Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares infestation of myself.
The above conversation took place between me and my friend, when I was thinking about doing a thing that Mr. Too Much Thinkers thinks about. Any guess what the outcome was? Its simple my Mind War never ended and I didn’t do it. I heard ‘war are easy to start, hard to fight and impossible to stop’ and I think it’s just damn right. The hardest part is to fight and that’s what I’m doing now and it is not even thinking about stopping.
I would like to share the conversation between me and another Mr. Too Much Thinker of my circles that took few weeks ago. I was busy with my work when he entered my room; I just fulfilled the formality to welcome him and went with my stuff. He moved around the room twice as if he was trying to tell something.
‘It’s killing me man’, he spited it out of his mouth.
‘What is killing you?’ I knew what he was talking about but I acted as if I don’t know anything.
‘You know…’ He felt shy to express it. I lifted my head and scanned his face; it was really a melancholy face so I made it simple for him.
‘I think something is burning, see the smoke’ I pointed at him. He was confused.
‘Gottcha Romeo, haha, so it’s the love in the air’ I was excited to hear how he feels about his girl. ‘So, how’s it going, mmh mmh’ I asked him.
‘It’s killing me man, I can’t even read, I know I’m gonna screw this exam’.
‘Haha, the same classical love story, no sleep, no appetite, no thirst…. Good going man’ I was enjoying all of it. ‘Why don’t you tell her?’ I asked.
‘It’s not that simple, what if ………………..’
He went through dozens of what if and I sat there just listening all those what if clauses. No word came out of mouth because he was also another Mr. Too much thinker like me and it’s not strange his mind was screening ‘The Mind War’ staring Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares.
Last month in a wedding party I ran into another Mr. Too Much Thinker. He is a guy from my workplace and we were attending a weeding of a Newar friend. Born in a typical Brahmin family he is a hell of a thinker. We sat for the dinner and they started serving Baji set on our Tapari(plate made of leaf), one by one they started serving dished, and 90% of them were Buff items and don’t forget that there was no liquor except Yela and Chayang. Guess what, my Brahmin Mr. thinker had to eat only beaten rice in the wedding party when everyone were enjoying Yela and Chayang with Choyala and Sekuwa. I went to him and said ‘Come on man eat something’. He nodded and watched me from above his spectacle. ‘How can I? It’s all buff items’ he was freaked out. ‘So what? Everyone is eating, don’t think too much man, just eat’ he looked me with dissatisfaction. I know what his mind was going through at that time. His brain was screening ‘The Mind War’ and Mr. Right and Mr. Who Cares inside him going through all those what if clauses. I can imagine him cooking in his kitchen after midnight. That was just another infestation of Mr. Too Much Thinker.
And to conclude, I have a say “The mind war is injurious to health and life, stay away from it”.
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